


A Soldier's Heart and a Prince's Smile

by mikharlow



Category: Fire Emblem Echoes: Mou Hitori no Eiyuu Ou | Fire Emblem Echoes: Shadows of Valentia
Genre: "Help me Antheise" -- Conrad, Awkward Crush, Crush at First Sight, Developing Relationship, Friends to Lovers, In which we ignore canon slightly, M/M, Slow Dancing, The other characters don't appear enough to tag them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-10
Updated: 2018-04-10
Packaged: 2019-04-14 17:09:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14140641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mikharlow/pseuds/mikharlow
Summary: Conrad held his hand out to Lukas, and their eyes met. Conrad’s were a chocolate brown, and when he gave Lukas a dimple cheeked smile, it lit them warmly. “Sir Lukas. A noble name.”His words brought a smile to his lips. “As is yours, Prince Conrad.”-In which Lukas and Conrad meet, and they slowly begin to find something they had been looking for.





	1. A Zofian Dance and a Meeting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so we begin. Lukrad is one of my favourite pairings in FE15, and thought it might be a rarepair, it certainly didnt stop me from writing a near-10k multichapter fic, did it?
> 
> This one goes out to all the rarepair shippers. Here is your content.
> 
> (Side note: I'd die for celiclair and celimae but i couldn't find a way to make it work in this, so apologies have celicalm instead i promise ill write celiclair soon)

The party thrown for the coronation of Their Majesties Alm and Celica was quite... informal. Not in a bad way, but more so in a relaxed fashion. For one, villagers were invited to dance among the nobles and share their drink (anyone who had issues with that would have to take it up with the new King and Queen themselves). Another was that instead of sitting on stuffy thrones overlooking the festivities, the newly crowned rulers were mingling with their friends and loved ones, sharing smiles and well wishes.  
  
Lukas smiled as he watched over the crowd. It was shimmering and bright and beautiful, the odd glass catching the light and sending sparkles into his sight. He held a half empty wine glass in his right hand, not wishing to be completely gone by the end of the evening, but wanting a little bit of a buzz.  
  
As his eyes passed over the happy faces, they make contact with a pair looking back at him. Green irises, mellowed with joy, lit up with recognition, and Alm quickly excused himself from his friends to make his way over to where Lukas stood.  
  
“Sir Lukas!” said Alm, grinning widely. His youth and energy was coming off of him in waves. Lukas couldn’t help but smile back.  
  
“Greetings, Your Majesty.” he replied.  
  
Alm shook his head, chuckling awkwardly. “Between you and I, I prefer just ‘Alm’ still.”  
  
“Understandably. You’ve only been king for a couple of hours, after all.”  
  
“I don’t think I’m ever gonna get used to it, honestly.” He nodded towards Lukas’ glass. “Hoping to make merry this evening?”  
  
He laughed. “That answer lies between me and myself.”  
  
“Alright, I won’t pry. Although, I have to thank you.”  
  
Lukas raised an eyebrow. “Whatever for?”  
  
“If you hadn’t come to my village that day, I might never have wound up here.” Alm explained. “I would have never known the truth about my heritage, or... about any of this.”  
  
He hummed, wondering aloud. “I think your grandfather would have told you eventually.”  
  
“I suppose you’re right.”  
  
“Alm!” called a voice from the thick of the crowd. Alm turned, as did Lukas, to see Celica, tugging someone along behind her.  
  
“Celica.” Alm greeted her with a smile.  
  
“I’ve come to introduce you to someone.” She said. “Alm, this is my brother.” She gestured to the man she had brought along.  
  
The man was an inch or so taller than Lukas. His hair was the same unique rosy-orange as his sister, stirring some semblances of recognition within him, although he couldn’t place why.  
  
“It’s a pleasure to meet you.” he said, holding out his hand to Alm, who shook it. “My name is Conrad.”  
  
“It’s lovely to meet you too.” said Alm. He gestured to Lukas, “This is Sir Lukas. I wouldn’t have gotten anywhere without his help.”  
  
Conrad held his hand out to Lukas, and their eyes met. Conrad’s were a chocolate brown, and when he gave  Lukas a dimple cheeked smile, it lit them warmly. “Sir Lukas. A noble name.”  
  
His words brought a smile to his lips. “As is yours, Prince Conrad.” He shook his hand. “Forgive me, but have we met before?”  
  
“You may have glimpsed me on horseback, when we fought Duma together.”  
  
Lukas blinked, his memories of that battle coming back to him. He remembered rushing into the fray, diving in front of a young cleric, and the whinny of a horse as he was assisted in his defense. A flash of ginger hair, under a pearl white mask.

  
“You were the masked knight?”  
  
“A grand title,” said Conrad. “but yes. That was me.”  
  
_Strange,_ he thought. Compared to the fierce, lance wielding knight, Conrad seemed so much more... mild. It wouldn’t be an overstatement to say he was more than a little surprised.  
  
Conrad must have sensed this, as he laughed, scratching his cheek. “I’ll admit, I’m not quite as... bold, without all the armour.”  
  
“Oh, I meant no offence.” he insisted. It was merely a surprise to learn that you were one and the same. I must thank you for your aid during that battle.”  
  
“As do I.” added Alm. “Every single person that joined us made a difference, and you were no exception.”  
  
“Your words are humbling, Your Majesty.”  
  
Celica opened her mouth to speak, but was silenced by a drum beat, bringing everyone’s attention to the stage.  
  
“Oh! They’re going to start the dances.” said Celica excitedly. “I love dances.”  
  
She took Alm’s hand, and curtsied before him. “May I have this dance?”  
  
“I would be honoured.” Alm laughed.  
  
Celica looked to Conrad and asked, “Conrad, will you be dancing too? I’d love for you to join us.”  
  
“Im afraid I’m... a little rusty.” he admitted. He glanced at Lukas. “But I don’t think that will stop me.”  
  
And to Lukas’ surprise, Conrad extended his arm towards him. “Will you join me?”  
  
“Would you not rather have a much younger woman by your side?” he replies, half-joking. But Conrad shook his head.  
  
“What better way to get to know each other?”  
  
_He’s serious... How long has it been since I was asked to dance?_  
  
Lukas set his glass on the table and put his hand in Conrad’s, who gave a relieved sigh that might have gone unnoticed had Lukas not been staring at him.  
  
“I don’t see why not.”  
  
The band gave instruction to form the dance formation, two parallel lines and couples standing across. Conrad led Lukas over, and the many people participating followed suit. Soon he was stood opposite Conrad, whose line was three or four feet away. Seeing just how many people were lined up almost made Lukas feel a little worried.  
  
A voice beside him said, “Don’t worry, Lukas. The longer it is, the better.”  
  
Python winked. “S’more fun that way.”  
  
“I didn’t know you were one for dancing, Python.” said Lukas, surprised.  
  
“Trust me, I’m not.” he sighs. “But he is, so...”  
  
Forsyth looks at Python disapprovingly. “You better not be complaining over there. If I didn’t get you up here, you’d be sitting down and drinking all night!”  
  
“And what’s so bad about that?”  
  
The chatter began to die down as the band’s music started to play. At the top of the lines, Alm and Celica began to dance, them being the leading couple of the night. Their laughter filled the room as they spun each other around, first clockwise and then counterclockwise, clearly having the time of their lives as the next part of the dance began and they started to twirl down the line. Celica spun once with the first person in the line opposite, as did Alm, then with each other, then with the next person in line. Celica was giggling as she came to Conrad, as Lukas spun Alm, wide grins on their faces.  
  
Once they were a third of the way down the long line of couples, the next pair started making their way down. It was Clair and a pink-haired girl that Lukas did not recognise, and they giggled as they danced, their hair flying wildly around them.  
  
As the dances progressed, Lukas’ arm grew sore, and it hadn’t even been his turn yet — but he had to admit, he was enjoying himself. It was hard not to, when the infectious laughter of young boys like Gray and Tobin filled his ears as they passed, swinging each other around almost violently.  
  
And then he was the first in line, and Conrad held out his hands, crossed over each other. Lukas stepped forwards to meet him, and offered a smile, which Conrad returned, somewhat embarrassed. “I didn’t realise the tempo of this dance was quite so...”  
  
Lukas chuckled. “Well, we’re here now.”  
  
“I guess we’ll just have to do our best.”  
  
They joined hands and waited for their cue to start, but those few beats seemed to last a good while longer for Lukas. His hands in Conrad’s felt like they were not his own — he hadn’t expected to be dancing at all that night, much less with a man such as the one opposite him. Conrad was looking down the line, an amused look on his face as he watched Delthea half-drag her brother through the steps. Lukas couldn’t help but wonder about him, wonder about how long it had been since he last danced with another, or if he had ever shared a dance with his sister.  
  
Conrad looked away from the siblings, meeting Lukas’ eye and bringing him out of his thoughts. “Are you ready?”  
  
He took a breath. “As much as I ever shall be.”  
  
And then they danced. The sound of their hitting the floor was accentuated by the claps of the other couples as they spun, and Lukas found that he had underestimated just how dizzy he would get in the 8 bars they spun for before they changed direction. It was a miracle that neither of them fell. All he could hear besides the loud music and the stamping of feet was Conrad’s laughter, pure delight as held Lukas’s hands tighter, perhaps from fear of falling over.  
  
They let go of each other to link arms, skipping to the opposite line where Lukas took Forsyth’s, who cheerfully did his part. They rejoined in the center, then parted, then joined again, and soon it was all a merry blur; voices overlapped and melted together, but all he could see were smiling faces and Conrad’s flushed cheeks.  
  
The end of the dance almost came too swiftly for Lukas’ liking.  


* * *

  
  
“And so she told me, ‘If you don’t, the ghosts will sure catch you tonight.’” said Conrad, the memory bringing nostalgia to his tone as he drank from his glass “And, young as I was, I was terrified!”  
  
“I can imagine.” Lukas agreed, amused. Since the dance had ended, they had stayed by each other, both parties reluctant to part. They had relocated to the side of the ballroom now, and there they leaned against pillars, fresh wine in their hands and talk flowing just as smoothly. “Having Rigelian heritage certainly seems to bring with it some interesting folklore.”  
  
Conrad nodded. “It certainly does. Antheise was always jealous. I would try to retell them to her myself, but it just wasn’t quite the same.”  
  
“A mother’s touch, I suppose.”  
  
“Mm, indeed. Do you read much, Sir Lukas?”  
  
“Not as much as I would like to.” he said, a little bitterly. “If I had the time, I would love nothing more than to rest with a book and spend the whole day reading.”  
  
Conrad gave him a sympathetic look. “I share your sentiment, I’m afraid. I never seem to have time for it lately.” A pause, then his eyes lit up. “Oh. Oh! I have a wonderful idea.”  
  
Lukas raised an eyebrow. “What is your idea?”  
  
“In two days from now, I was planning on spending the day in the library. I was wondering if you might like to join me? I will provide tea for us.”  
  
How considerate, he thought, smiling. “That sounds wonderful. I would love to.”  
  
“E-excellent!” Conrad was beaming. “I look forward to it.”  
  
“As do I.”  
  
For a moment, Conrad was lost in thought. Then he said, “Your remark from earlier reminded me — my mother taught me a Rigelian dance. I don’t remember it’s name—“ He set down his wine. “But it goes something like this.”  
  
He took Lukas’ hand in his, his other hand hovering above Lukas’ waist, hesitating. “May I?”  
  
Lukas blinked, surprised at the forwardness of him. He chalked it up to the wine and the atmosphere, setting aside his own glass and nodding. “You may.”  
  
He placed his hand on Lukas’s waist, Lukas assuming position. He moved them a few steps to the right, where he bounced on his feet, and then back left again. Luckily, that was all it took to help Lukas remember the steps, although he still stumbled slightly when they moved two steps backward, and then forward again. Conrad lifted his arm and allowed Lukas to twirl beneath it, pulling him close again afterwards — it occurred to him then that he had never played the lady’s part before — but then they stopped, sort of awkwardly, as they realised that they weren’t in so open of an area that they could continue into the waltz-like move that came next.  
  
“Ahah... I don’t suppose I thought that one through.” Conrad chuckled, eliciting one from Lukas as well, albeit a slightly breathless one. He was so close that Lukas could count each individual eyelash, and looking closely now, faint freckles dusted his cheeks, just like his sister. He felt tingly all over.  
  
Lukas looked down, needing to avert his eyes to somewhere else, and gave a small smile. “I imagine it would be easier to dance in the center of a ballroom than on the edge of one.”  
  
“Yes, I imagine so.” he agreed bashfully. But his hand doesn’t loosen from Lukas’ waist. Although Lukas doesn’t remove his hands, either. And so they don’t let go. Lukas could hear the blood rushing in his ears, the hand on his waist feeling abnormally hot even through his clothes; he silently wished his undershirt weren’t so thin. His palm against Conrad’s felt sweaty, embarrassingly so, from exertion and nervousness. And despite himself, and his consciousness screaming at him to keep looking at his own two feet, he glanced up to meet Conrad’s eyes.  
  
Rather than a similarly embarrassed expression, Conrad was looking at him in what looked like... awe, perhaps. His eyes were wide, his lips parted slightly. A few seconds pass where their locked gazes went unspoken, until Conrad realized that Lukas was looking back at him now, his cheeks darkening to a deep red. A quiet, startled sound escaped his lips.  
  
“Excuse me for staring, I... I only...”  
  
His words broke off, as did his hold, as he took a small step backwards. Lukas’s hand fell back to his side. His mind was a cacophony of thoughts, which he desperately tried to make sense of. “It’s... I’m…” he mumbled, unable to find the words.

Luckily, he didn’t have to. A call of “Conrad!” came from behind him, and he watched as Conrad pulled his eyes away from Lukas to the person behind him.

Celica rushed past Lukas and grabbed Conrad by the hand. “Come with me, I have something I need to show you!” she said giddily, and all Conrad could do was nod and glance at Lukas one last time before his sister dragged him off.

As Lukas turned to watch him go, he let out a tired sigh, feeling some of the nerves wash out of his lungs. He kept watching Conrad’s back as it disappeared into the crowd, until he was left wondering what in Mila’s name had passed between them just a few moments before.

“Sir Lukas?”

The sound of Forsyth’s voice roused him from his musings. Forsyth’s cheeks were flushed red with wine, his eyes sparkled with energy. Somehow the sight of him drained Lukas’ of his own energy, or rather, made him realise how tired he truly was. He gave his friend a weary smile.

“I think I ought to retire for the night.”


	2. A Series of Ruminations

After he managed to slip away from the celebrations, Lukas had gone right away to his room and into his bed. Although, as soon as his head hit the pillow, he had known that he was not going to be getting that much rest. Everytime he had closed his eyes, he was whisked back to the party, his hand still in Conrad’s and drink on his tongue. He eventually sat upright, the blankets of the guest bed falling around him as he rubbed at his eyes, desperately trying to understand what it was that kept bringing those memories back to him.

His bare feet were cold against the floor when he rose the next morning. Despite how late it was when sleep had finally come to him, he woke early when the sun was still new, as he always did. He shivered, regretful that he had stripped himself of his shirt before sleeping. As he fastened his shirt over his chest a sudden wave of nausea overcame him, and he found himself stabilising himself against the wall. Squeezing his eyes shut, he attributed it to his lack of sleep and the wine from last night. He briefly wondered how Python would be that morning, as hadn’t exactly been drinking lightly.

Surprisingly, when Lukas found him later in the mess hall, he was perfectly sober and poking at Forsyth’s cheek, who was slumped over his porridge beside him. Lukas slipped into the seat next to Python and set his breakfast down on the table.

“Good morning.” he greeted them, receiving a “Hey” and a deep guttural noise in response. He raised an eyebrow. “Is Forsyth quite alright?”

The man shovelled a spoonful of his oats into his mouth. “Forsyth isn’t ‘quite alright’, as you so put it.”  
Python barked a laugh. “I would know it. Poor Fors here is _exhausted_ from the party, amongst… other things.” He wiggled his eyebrows at Lukas. “I’ll have you know, we were up _all night_ together, the two of us, in my bed—“

“ _Python!!_ ” Forsyth glared at him, mortified. “Stop that!”

“Do you have a problem? I speak only the truth.”

“At _least_ phrase it in a way that can’t be so easily misconstrued.” Forsyth sighed deeply, rubbing his eyes. “I had a fitful sleep, and so I sought companionship. Is it such a crime?”

Lukas gave him a pitiful smile. “Not at all.”

The rest of the morning passed much the same. Lukas glimpsed Gray and Tobin slung over each other’s shoulders — they were awfully young to have been drinking so heavily, weren’t they? — and others who had fought for Celica looking similarly rough. The pink-haired girl who had served as Clair’s dance partner was as spritely as she was the night before, and looked almost _too_ cheerful in comparison to her companion, a boy with light hair, who looked as though he was about to pass out with the speed at which she was talking. As for Celica herself, Lukas did not see her at all. And nor did he see Conrad. He tried to ignore his slight sting of disappointment.

 

* * *

 

It was late when Conrad pushed his chair away from his paper-laden desk, stretching his arms high above his head and stifling a yawn. He cracked open one eye and the starry sky outside his window filled his vision. It was a clear night, with almost no clouds to be seen. The moon was a waxing one, and seemed especially bright to Conrad after hours at his desk. A quiet breeze danced in through the window, tickling the pages of the open books in front of him and brushing against his cheeks. He sighed, the cool air feeling like a long drink of water after a half day’s ride.

“A walk would be nice, I think.”

And it was. The chill felt wonderful against his skin after being cooped up for so long indoors. The gardens outside his room were truly magical when viewed at night. Roses and lilies glittered and shone, reflecting the moonlight as it painted everything into a silvery hue. There was a slight crunch beneath Conrad’s feet as he walked away from the garden path into the less-trodden parts.

It was a little secret to himself, but Conrad loved the gardens. Little time had passed since he arrived at Zofia Castle, but by Mila, if he hadn’t spent the majority of it amongst the rose bushes. The sound of quiet rustling and trickling of water fountains struck a chord within him that he had longed for during his time alone. Although, of course, there had been something else recently that one could say had struck a chord in him as well.

Conrad didn’t know what it was about Lukas. Perhaps it was all the stories he had heard about this handsome knight of the Deliverance, or that gratuitous phrase that was thrown around whenever he was spoken of by some of the men in the army.

No matter the cause, the outcome was the same — he was deeply interested in Lukas, and wanted to know more about him. He thanked all his stars that the idea to invite him to the library had struck him in that moment. Truthfully, he wasn’t even planning to go anyways. But he just had to know more about this man, so that maybe he would stop occupying Conrad’s mind every waking moment.

He turned away to head back into the castle, but not before one last wistful gaze at his green haven as he left.

Whatever the cause, the thought of seeing this particular “ginger stud” again made him happier than he’d ever felt during his years in solitude.

 

* * *

 

Lukas did not know how much time had passed when he finally set down his lance, his breaths coming short and quick from exertion. He wiped the sweat from his brow with the cloth he had brought with him and sat on a crate near the wall.

With nothing better to do, he had sought out a place where he could train. He needed something to occupy his mind, as he knew if he were to be left to himself, his thoughts would eventually drift back to places he wished it wouldn’t go. Each strike of the dummies lined up against the castle walls was a couple seconds longer he didn’t have to think about anything -- just the strain of his muscles as he thrust his lance into target after target.

He took a long drink from his waterskin. The back of his neck was drenched with sweat, and the midday sun did not help. He rose to his feet, steadying himself with his lance. “I think I’m in need of a bath.” he said to himself absentmindedly. With a sigh, he made his way indoors.

The guest baths at Zofia Castle were rather luxurious, put plainly. Lukas couldn’t imagine how grand the royal baths must have been if the ones he was permitted to use were this fancy. Of course, he’d never see them for himself, not unless he married into the line somehow.

Lukas immediately felt his tension melt away as soon as he eased into the hot water. He wasn’t one to take overly long washing himself, but even he felt like he could spend the whole afternoon there. Even so, he didn’t waste any time in washing away the unpleasant feeling of the results of his hard work on his skin.

As he ran his fingers through his hair, he spared himself a moment to think about everything. The war, everything he had seen —- some days it felt like some strange dream, others, a wicked nightmare. One too many times had he almost watched a comrade’s life slip through his fingers, and on a few horrific occasions, seen it through. Though he may not have known their names, their faces were not so easily forgotten.

And then he was thinking about that final, fateful conflict, where he had watched the young Alm join forces with Celica, who, together, lead the might of two armies to strike down Duma himself. He thought of that knight — of Conrad, who had rode in to help protect an ally (he’d later learned her name was Genny). And he felt his movement slow to a stop as he pondered.

_Why does it always seem to come back to him?_

Did it have something to do with the way he had been so kind and genuine? Was it the surprised of finding out he and the knight were one and the same? Was it because he had asked him to dance, the first time in years? Or, perhaps it was the butterflies in his stomach every time he pictured his warm brown eyes.

He didn’t know what else to call it. Was it nerves? Nausea? He would certainly have to think more about this later. But for now, he tried to rinse away these questions, at least until he was more able to answer them.

 

* * *

 

 

The stretch of time between Conrad arriving at the library and Lukas joining him was possibly one of  the longest, most painful things he’d ever known. His mind was so busy with thoughts of Lukas not coming that by the time he did eventually arrive, Conrad’s hand was still hovering over the teapot, not yet poured.

“Sir Lukas!” said Conrad, who winced immediately afterwards, worried his tone had come off as too eager. “It’s lov—I'm glad you could make it.”

Lukas smiled. “As am I. It’s wonderful to see you again.” He paused. “And… just Lukas is perfectly fine with me.”

“Then it’s perfectly fine with me.”

The tea was sweet on his tongue, or maybe it was just the talk— a part of Conrad had secretly wondered if Lukas actually acted more stern when not half-filled with wine and in the tides of a merry gathering, but the conversation flowed with just the same amount of humour and spark that it had before. He was just as charming to talk with, and dressed just as well. So much so, that Conrad often caught himself staring for too long at the other man, having to almost physically shake himself out of his daze. He hoped Lukas didn’t notice. Conversation topics flowed from one into another, and then faded out altogether as they began to read in a shared silence.

And, surprisingly, it was so much less… _earth-shattering_ than he had feared. There was no awkward stuttering or silence; apart from those moments of weakness, the afternoon they spent together was a wholly pleasant experience.

Conrad confessed as such when they parted ways.

“I… thoroughly enjoyed myself today, I just want you to know.”

“Then hopefully you will enjoy yourself next time, as well?”

 _Next time?_ he thought, becoming elated at the thought of seeing him again.

Conrad beamed.

“Of course I will.”

 

* * *

 

“Goodnight, Conrad.”

As the door clicked shut behind him, Lukas felt all the tension in the world drain out of him on the spot. He hadn’t realised how nervous he was until he walked into the library and actually saw Conrad sitting there. It hadn’t taken him long to relax after getting comfortable, however. It was just that, with all these thoughts and questions still running through his head, he was a bit of a mess. Nothing noticeable, of course. He was as composed as ever. He just hoped that Conrad hadn’t been looking close enough to the the cracks.

But he had enjoyed himself, immensely. At least he now knew

“Next time, hm?” he mumbled to himself, walking home.

 

* * *

 

After that, their book and tea meetups became routine for them. Once a week, a catch up and then reading. And it wasn’t limited to those days only -- they often went on walks around the garden together, going and visiting the market stalls in the nearby village together. And soon, a close friendship grew between the two.

Conrad pondered on this as he skimmed his book, not really paying attention to the words. He was glad to have Lukas a such a close friend. He was an excellent listener, and could talk for a while when given the opportunity. Conrad loved listening to him talk; his voice was so soothing, it could put a newborn to sleep.

The thought of Lukas’ voice lulling him into sleep had blood rushing to Conrad’s cheeks, and he almost slammed his finger in his book trying to calm down.

“Hello, Conrad.” said Lukas, who had seemingly appeared out of nowhere.

Conrad beamed, sitting upright to greet him, silently praying that he didn’t just see him fluster himself. “Good afternoon, Lukas.”

Lukas smiled at him and sat in his usual spot across the table. “Good afternoon.” He drank from the teacup that Conrad had already set out for him -- after so many times, he had learned what Lukas’ preferred way of drinking it was. “How has this week been for you?”

“Oh, you know. It’s always busy in the work I’m pursuing.” he replied. His eyes landed on the blue cover Lukas had brought with him. “Is that a new book you have?”

“Ah, you noticed?” Lukas held up the cover to show him. “It’s a book of poetry.”

“Interesting.” said Conrad. “I’ve never read poetry books before. Well, I had one read to me once, but I was very little. I don’t remember much. Prose is the last thing a toddler wants to pay attention to before bedtime."

Lukas laughed, and Conrad involuntarily smiled back. He sipped at his own tea, before asking about Lukas’ week.

As he listened to his companion talk, he felt a certain warmth bloom in his chest. He always felt cosy on their days spent there in the library. Today the rain patterned against the tall windows, blocking off the world outside. The lamps flickered, casting gold rimmed shadows across the bookshelves. The tea seemed to steam more enchantingly somehow, but maybe that was just Conrad’s romantic side telling him things. But it was a cosier day than usual.

It was a while after they had started to read that Lukas set down his book and said, “Is it alright if I ask you something?”

Conrad looked up from his book at met Lukas’ eyes. “Of course.” He closed the novel, directing all attention to the other man.

“If it’s not too personal,” he said. “I was wondering what your past was like. I’m not one to pry, so don’t feel pressured to answer, but I was just curious. You’ve mentioned before that you have some fond memories with your sister, but you’ve talked of nothing else besides that.”

Conrad sighed. He ran a hand through his hair. “There’s not much to say, honestly. Nothing happy, anyway. It won’t make for a very cheerful conversation topic.”

“I don’t mind.”

He blinked. “Hm?”

Lukas’ eyes were kind. “I don’t mind if it isn’t happy. I’d like to know more about you, and I know life isn’t always a fairytale. I am aware there are dark moments in people’s lives, and.. I’d like to know yours, if you’re willing to share them with me.”

And Conrad was moved. Over the, admittedly, relatively short while they had known each other, Lukas had slowly become one of the most honest and sincere people Conrad had ever known. Thinking about it, Lukas was the first true friend Conrad could call his own, outside of his family.

He couldn’t think of a better person to share them with.

“I’d be happy to.”

Lukas nodded. “Whenever you’re ready.”

Conrad took a deep breath.

“When I was young, my half-siblings hated me. They rejected me, because of my Rigelian blood. Only Antheise spared me any kindness, the saint that she is. They would often ridicule me, mock me, say awful things… not just about me, but my mother two. I couldn’t stand it. As you know, I’m a rather… sensitive person, so I didn’t take to it well at all. I would hide in my room away from them. Luckily, they despised me too much to want to come find me.

“And then the coup… I was assumed dead, and I pretended to be so. For years I spent my time in hiding, without any friends or allies I could call my own. It was so lonely. Incredibly so. I had only my recurring nightmares for companionship.”

Conrad had stopped talking when he felt tears begin to prick at his eyes. He had just come to the realisation that he’d never talked about this out loud before, not even with Antheise, at least not in this amount of detail. It was wholly different from keeping it inside, where it had dwelled for so long.

Lukas, sensing this, comforted him. “I cannot imagine what that must have been like. My deepest sympathies are with you, Conrad. I regret asking, if this has upset you.”

“No, no, it’s fine!” Conrad held his tears back, sniffing once and shaking his head. “I think I need to talk about this.”

It was barely audible, but Lukas breathed a sigh of relief. “Then, please, continue.”

And he did. He cleared his throat. “My memories of Antheise and my mother were my only kind ones. They kept me going through the long days I could almost not bear to live through. Strength of will and mind is vital, when you’re in the position that I was…”

He talked for a long while, occasionally stopping to gather himself while Lukas waited patiently. And when he was finished, Lukas shared his own story.

“I find that I have family a little like yours.” admitted Lukas.

“Really?”

“Of course, nothing so tragic as yours was. But my elder brother — my half-brother, actually — disliked me. He saw me as a rival of sorts. So, when the Deliverance came about, he sent me off there. It was a win-win situation for him: if we were victorious, he would get the glory of being a hero’s brother and the one who pushed him to go. If we lost, and I died, he could simply pretend I never existed.”

Conrad frowned. “That’s quite a heartless deed for a brother.”

“If only he knew I wasn’t interested in usurping him.” He sighed. “Again, it’s hardly a tearjerker compared to yours. You went through far more hardships than I ever did.”

Conrad shook his head. “Don’t put your past down in such a way.” he said, and he meant it. “Everyone has suffered in one way or another. Don’t belittle your own experiences because of mine.”

Lukas was quiet for a moment. Their eyes locked, and — maybe it was just Conrad — but he felt something pass between then then. Something warm, and mutual. His breath hitched, unable to look elsewhere but at Lukas. And there was that feeling again, the one from that first night that he couldn’t quite shake.

But it was soon over, Lukas breaking the contact first to take a long sip of his tea. “I suppose you’re right.” The cup made a _chink_ noise as it was set on the table. “I’m truly glad we could discuss these pasts of ours.”

His throat felt dry. “Y-yes, I agree.” Desperate for a topic, his line of sight landed on Lukas’ book. Gesturing to it, he said “So, tell me about your poetry book.”

Lukas looked between the book and Conrad, surprised, but only for a moment. “Gladly.” he replied with a fond smile.

Conrad could say that the intensity of his fluttery feelings had died down slightly, over time and due exposure, but occasionally they would make themselves known. And Lukas still could not name the emotion he felt whenever Conrad looked at him a certain way, but he knew it was something between happiness and wonder. And he didn’t need to name it. He liked it. And as long as this world kept allowing him to experience it, he would.


	3. Conversations and Realisations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last, and longest chapter, so strap in.

Conrad truly thought these feelings had died down. But he was wrong. So,  _ so  _ wrong. 

 

It was one of their long days together in the library, and today had been more chat than reading (although that had become a normal thing for the two of them). They were reading, the only sounds the turning of pages and cups being set on wooden tables. But to Conrad, the words must have begun to float off the page and towards Lukas, as that’s where his gaze seemed to end up. 

 

More and more often recently he had found himself thinking more about him. He didn’t know what to do. He knew only what he felt, which was a nervous, elated feeling everytime Lukas smiled at him. His book could have been about the most interesting topic in the world, but in this moment, nothing was more interesting to Conrad than watching Lukas’ eyes light up as they read. 

 

But then Lukas’ eyes flitted up, back down at his book, then did a double-take. And their eyes met, Conrad realising that Lukas was now aware he had been staring. His chest tightened in this odd sensation, and his throat felt choked up, as if he were in a kitchen full of steam. A part of him was comically reminded of the day they met. 

 

“A-ah,” Conrad started. “if you would excuse me, I think I need a breath of fresh air.” And he left, in a bit more of a hurry than he should have been, heading to his safe space in the gardens where he could have room to think.

 

What started out as intrigue had turned to fascination over the weeks and months they spent together, and then into something Conrad didn’t even know how to begin to describe. Hot flushes and staring for too long, excuses to see him and sleepless nights? 

 

_ What does one even call something like that other than a sickness of some sort? _

 

Whatever it was, it had caused the memory of his smile to become so deeply lodged in the forefront of Conrad’s memory that it was harder to remove than an arrowhead in his back. He didn’t think that being struck with an arrow was supposed to make your heart race in your chest quite so much, although he certainly felt like he were about to lose consciousness when he thought about him for too long. He tried to avoid that happening. 

 

And yet here he was, in the gardens of the castle again, caressing the petals of a hyacinth and smiling giddily like some lovestruck village maiden after her first encounter with a knight. He exhaled a sigh, at a loss for what to do. Whatever this feeling was called, it had him dreaming of the messy steps of a waltz in the arms of a soldier every night for a fortnight, and he wasn’t sure how much longer he could handle it.

 

And, panicking, he had gone to the only person he could think to go to. 

 

“Conrad?” Celica smiled at him. “I’m sorry that I’m late, I had something I needed to attend to. I hope you weren’t waiting long?”

 

“Not long at all.” said Conrad, although he couldn’t give her an honest answer anyway. He hadn’t been paying attention to the time since he arrived at his sister’s chambers.

 

Celica closed the door behind her and took a seat beside where Conrad sat. Folding her hands on her lap, she said “So, how have your studies been going?”  
  
He was glad she started speaking first. “Very well, actually. It’s by no means easy, politics never are, but I’m handling it.”  
  
“That’s great to hear. Have you been busy?  
  
“Oh, certainly. Not too busy for a catch up with my sister, of course, but I often find myself awake long after hours still working.”

 

She laughed. “Oh, dear. Is that what you wanted to talk to me about?”

 

_ Ah.  _

 

Conrad hadn’t realised how thick the words felt in his throat until he tried to speak them out loud. Nervousness clawed at his stomach. Syllables felt like weights on his tongue. After taking deep breaths in and out, he opted for a different route into the conversation.

 

“You…” he began, before rephrasing. “How does it… how does it feel, when you think of Alm? To be around him?”

 

Celica looked surprised, laughing shyly. “Well, I suppose, if I had to describe it…” She paused, looking out of the tall window. “...Warm. And a little… a little dizzy, if he’s near me, but in a good way. Like what I assume being drunk is like.” She laughed at herself. “I feel like dancing. Its comfortable, and exciting, never dull.” 

 

“I- I see.” He swallowed.

 

“And sometimes, it’s almost as if… Brother, are you all right?”

 

Conrad’s face had slowly been turning more and more red as she spoke. It all sounded familiar, far too familiar, and these feelings he harboured were getting dangerously close to naming themself.

 

“I’m quite alright, Antheise. Just a little tired, is all.”

 

Celica looked unconvinced, but she nodded. “Make sure you’re taking care of yourself, alright?”

 

“Yes, I am. Please, continue.”

 

“As you wish. It sometimes feels as if I’m… floating? And -- oh, this is silly, but, at the priory, I used to daydream that he would ask me to dance.” She fiddled with her skirt bashfully, gazing at her feet. “It’s wonderful, though. I love this feeling.” 

 

“And… you love him, don’t you?”

 

“I do...” She trailed off, her eyes drifting back up to Conrad. She gave him a meaningful look. “...but this conversation isn’t about me and Alm, is it?”

 

Stunned, Conrad could only stare. Celica’s face was full of understanding. “What did you want to talk to me about, Conrad?”

 

_ It would be wrong to not go through with this now _ . 

 

“I’m…” He licked his dry lips. “I think I’m in love.”

 

Celica’s knitted eyebrows relaxed, and she grinned. “Conrad, that’s fantastic! I’m so happy for you.” Her voice sounded genuine, excited, and it brought a smile to Conrad’s face. “Do you want to talk about it? Well, obviously you do, but… are you ready?”

 

A beat, and then he nodded. “I do. I haven’t spoken about it before, and I think it might help me.”

 

“When you’re ready.”

 

He thought back to the library days, of Lukas’ hands as they turn a page, of his quiet, charming laughter, and spoke.

 

“They are… I love being around them. I always look forward to seeing them. I feel the same way you do about them. I get the… ‘good’ dizziness, I get the warmth, and it’s so overwhelming I feel I might faint.”

 

“And you think you love them?”

 

“...Yes, I think I do.”

 

“May I ask who it is?”

 

Conrad sighed, turning his head away. “It’s… It’s Sir Lukas.”

 

Celica blinked. “Oh. That’s… not that much of a surprise.”

Nerves began to build inside him. “It isn’t?”

 

“I sort of suspected as such. You  _ have  _ been spending an awful lot of time with him.”

 

“You -- you noticed?”

 

She smiled cheekily. “You talk about him more often than you realise, Conrad.”

 

“Don’t tease me, Antheise.” he whines, burying his face into his hands. “Just tell me what I should do.” 

 

Celica thinks to herself. “I think you should tell him.”

 

“W-what?!” Conrad said, flustered. “But he couldn’t possibly feel the same way!”

 

“I wouldn’t be so sure. I’ve heard talk that Lukas is quite fond of you, you know.”

 

His rush of thoughts ground to a halt. He raised his head to look at his sister. “Truly?”

 

“I wouldn’t lie, brother. Now, tell me about him, would you please?” Celica looked very enthusiastic. “I’ve heard much about him from Alm, although I imagine you know him a lot more… personally.”

 

“ _ Antheise… _ ”

 

“Haha, my apologies.

 

“Anyway… he’s clever, and kind. He likes books - loves them, actually. And he’s so strong, too, he could easily carry someone. His arms especially… and his eyes are…”

 

“By Mila, you certainly sound smitten.”

 

“I... suppose you’re right. It’s just that I never thought those fleeting feelings when I first met him would ever develop into something like…  _ this _ .” Conrad gestured vaguely with his hands. “It’s overwhelming.”

 

“Life is funny, isn’t it? You never quite know what will happen.” You deserve all the best, Conrad. I’m sure he’ll fall for you in an instant if he hasn’t already.”

 

Conrad smiled. “Antheise… Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.”

 

“Oh, Conrad… It’s my pleasure, really. I should be the one thanking you.” Celica reaches out and puts her hands on top of Conrad’s. “I’m so excited to have a brother again. We can do all these things that we missed out on, you know? So I’m just so happy that you felt you could talk to me about this.”

 

Her words made Conrad’s heart swell, and he felt choked up. “Oh, don’t make me cry.” he said, wiping at his eyes. They embraced, laughing like siblings do. 

 

* * *

 

 

For an event as simple as visiting the festival in the town over, Lukas was much more nervous than he should have been. Conrad had mentioned that there was a spring festival being held, and Lukas had suggested they go. He wasn’t one for large crowds or parties, really, but there was something in Conrad’s tone that felt like longing. And more often than not lately, Lukas had found himself striving to make him happy.

 

Either way, he didn’t need to dress so formally. 

 

_ It’s not formal, it’s just dressing nicely _ , he told himself for the upteenth time, before giving up arguing with himself. He was already on his way to meet Conrad, there was no use in worrying about it now. It wasn’t as though he didn’t know why he was putting in such an effort. After months of feeling something kindling in your chest, you began to come to terms with what it was. And come to terms with it, Lukas certainly had. 

 

He knew he had fallen for Conrad. It was the first time he’d ever felt something like this. After all, there weren’t many maladies that involved a desire to kiss someone, at least not any that Lukas could find. It was a little… strange, he had to admit, but it was by no means bad. The realist in him was a constant reminder that this feeling would likely amount to nought, but for now, he enjoyed what time he had with Conrad, romantically or no.

 

“Lukas! Ahoy there, o ginger stud.”

 

He was startled out of his thoughts as Python approached him, slowing his jog to a walk as they walked side by side. “Ah, Python. Well met.”   
  
“And where do you suppose you’re off to, looking all fancy?” he said, gesturing to Lukas’ clothing.   
  
“This is hardly ballroom attire. I was merely on my way to meet a good friend.” he explained.   
  
Python scoffed. “Well, you must be pretty close for you to be bustin’ out the expensive stuff. I can smell the gold from here.”   
  
So perhaps he did overdress. “Is it so wrong for me to dress up once in a while?   
  
“No, not at all. It just isn’t like our Lukas to spray himself with smelly stuff just to say hi to a pal.” 

  
“Ah, well, you have me there.” 

  
There was silence between them for a few moments, then Python spoke. “So... what’s she like?”   
  
“I beg your pardon?” said Lukas.   
  
“Your friend! Is she a lovely lady?   
  
He should have expected this, really. Python was a prying type, if that came as a surprise to anyone. Although, if anyone were to know, Python wouldn’t be a bad choice. Despite his laid-back attitude to most aspects of life, he truly was an excellent confidant. 

 

“... _ He _ isn’t a lady at all.” he finally said.   
  
“Oh. Ohhhh, I  _ see. _ ” said Python, stretching his arms out in front of him. “Mila, that explains some things.”   
  
Lukas was confused. “I don’t catch your meaning.”

 

**“** I mean, not feeling any fire for your old lady friend makes complete sense, if you’d rather have a bloke over a lass.” he explained. “Not that it was ever a bad thing in the first place, mind you. I still don’t feel much fire, preference or no. ‘Sides Fors, of course, but even so.”   
  
“Aha... I suppose you’re right. I have only recently realised that I prefer the company of men.” 

  
“I’m assuming that was due to your friend, right?” He winked at Lukas, who looked away.   
  
“You would be correct in your assumption.”  _ Incredibly correct _ , he thought. “It’s the first time I’ve felt something so strong for another, let alone a man.”   
  
Python whistled. “This is the real deal then, huh? Well, tell me about him. Is he a looker? Can he sing? Is he the man of your dreams?”    
  


Lukas chuckled. Of course Python would pepper him with questions like this -- he loved other people’s gossip. “You may very well know the answers to those questions yourself, Python. The man of whom I speak is Conrad, half-brother to Celica.”   
  
After a few steps, Lukas realised that Python had stopped walking. “Woah, woah, woah, stop the cart. You’re telling me Lukas, our Lukas, has landed himself a  _ prince _ ?”   
  
He raise an eyebrow. “I’m not sure one could say I’ve ‘landed’ him, and he’s about as much of a prince as you or I, but otherwise yes.” They started walking again, Python shaking his head in disbelief.   
  
“Hey, a prince is a prince. I’ve heard stories of a dashing masked knight riding a white horse into battle. Tell me -- Is he anything like his tales tell?”   
  
“Only when wearing his fabled mask.” said Lukas, a small smile on his face. “Truth be told, he is more gentle than a village maid. Quite charming, kind hearted, but every bit as dashing as the stories when he smiles.” He felt warm inside as he spoke, unable to help it.   
  
“ _ Wow. _ Sounds like he’s more of “ginger stud” than you are!” Python teased him, and punched his shoulder lightly.   
  
He laughed. “He deserves the title more than I, handsome as he is. He’s well learned, as well as an exceptionally gifted painter.” He left out the detail that Conrad had once expressed the desire to paint Lukas himself, and that the thought of it made his heart flutter. Some gossip material he can keep to himself.   
  
“Gods, he sounds about perfect!” said his friend in an awed tone. “Way to go Lukas!”   
  
Lukas’ smile turned a bit wistful as he spoke. “Well, we aren’t exactly... I’m unsure as to whether these feelings I harbour are reciprocated.” He exhaled, his worries hanging in the air.   
  
“Oh, don’t be daft. He’d have to be mad to refuse a man like you.” Python reassured him. “I wouldn’t be surprised if he were having the same worries you.    
  
“You think so?”   
  
“Of course! I  _ still  _ get asked by women about the knight in red. Although I suppose now I should start telling them he’s not interested.”   
  
“I appreciate the compliment, but you don’t have to go that far. Thank you, though, for putting up with my lovesick ramblings.”   
  
Python barked a laugh. “Hah! Don’t worry about it. You just concentrate on wooing your man. If anyone can win over a prince, it’s Lukas.”   
  
Lukas rolled his eyes. “Haha, we’ll see.” 

 

“No, really, you got this. Just be bold, go with the flow, and he’ll fall for ya in no time.” The archer slowed his pace, turning to his friend. “Well, I’ll be off now. Clive needs something or other done for him, so I gotta get to that.”

 

“Alright, then… Thank you again, Python.” he said, in a more serious tone, and he really meant it. 

 

Python gave him a genuine smile, instead of his usual cynical one. “It’s no problem, buddy.” He waved as he walked away backwards. “Have fun with your prince!” 

 

As Lukas turned away, he hummed to himself. “ _ My  _ prince, hm?” 

 

* * *

 

 

Later that day, the castle gardens saw the two friends laughing together. After the loudness and the colourfulness of the festivities, the peacefulness of the gardens was a much welcomed relief. The sun was warm that day, gently pulling the drooping heads of the flowers up to the azure sky. The aftertaste of excitement and a collective joy still lingered on Lukas’ tongue, and it showed. They talked and talked, about the festival, about their friends, about anything and everything the could as they walked through the flowerbeds together. 

  
“Do you recall the dance we shared in the back of the ballroom on the day of my sister's Coronation?” Conrad asked suddenly. “What was it called?”

  
Lukas warmed at the memory, although confused at its mention. “I remember it well, but I can’t think of a name, no.”   
  
Conrad hummed, and slowed to a stop. “Perhaps if we recalled our steps, it might jog our memories.”   
  
He stopped walking as well. Was he... asking him to dance? “...Indeed, it might.” he said with a smile, feeling far more excited that he should. The grass beneath their feet was hardly a ballroom floor, but there was never a better place to dance, Lukas decided, as he took Conrad’s hand.

  
Lukas felt just as clumsy as he did the first time they danced, and maybe even worse, now that he had these... feelings with him, now that the hand on his waist had another weight to it. But Conrad’s steps felt sure, steady and calm as he led them both in the dance. Somehow he didn’t think that this sudden improvement was all just in his mind.

  
“Have you been taking lessons?” said Lukas, going on his hunch.    
  
Conrad’s cheeks tinted an endearing shade of pink. “I may have had a few since our last dance, yes.”   
  
Whatever Lukas was about to say next was cut short as Conrad lowered him to the ground in a dip. He smiled at him, a little breathless, eyes bright.    
  
“...I don’t remember this part.” said Lukas, his heart racing so fast he could almost hear it. 

 

“Well, I only added that in to impress you.” he admitted, his cheeks even more coloured now.    
  


“To impress me? What for?” Lukas dared to hope for what he wanted to be the truth. Nothing seemed more inviting now than Conrad’s mouth, which he pointedly did not look at.

  
“...I think you already know why.” 

 

Conrad suddenly looked pained, a little regretful, like he’d overstepped. “I… fear I’ve said too much.” he said. He brought Lukas back upright, but his hands did not move. Nor did Lukas’.   
  
His heart was pounding now. This really did sound like what he had hoped for. But what should he do?

 

 _What did Python say? ‘Go with the flow of it’? Be… bold?_ _How am I supposed to be bold when he’s made me feel like this?_

 

He took a deep breath, steadying himself. And, letting pure wishful thinking take control of him, he said, “You need not resort to ballroom tactics if you wish to sweep me off my feet.“   
  
The silence between them was stifling on this sunny afternoon, mere inches apart from each other. Lukas couldn’t look anywhere but at Conrad, at his eyes, his cheeks.   
  
Then there’s a gentle hand in his hair that knocks all the breath from his lungs. Conrad’s eyes flit between it and Lukas, wetting his lips nervously.    
  
Conrad’s breath ghosted across Lukas’ face as he spoke. “Y-you looked so fetching, today, with the sunlight in your hair.”   
  
And maybe it was the nervous tilt of his head, the way the light caught his eyelashes as they began to flutter shut. Maybe it was the hand in his hair, or how his breath tasted of mint tea, or everything that led them up to that moment. Perhaps it was the pounding in his chest that spurred him to action, but Lukas leaned in to meet him halfway.    
  
And oh, Mila, was he glad that he did.    
  
When their lips touched, it was like some sort of spell had been broken over the both of them, one that had been restraining them from this moment. Conrad’s lips were soft and gentle, just like him, and utterly addictive. What started tentatively soon became passionate, the hand in his hair pulling him closer, although there was no need to tempt Lukas further, already lost in the kiss as he deepened it. Conrad sighed into him, his grip tightening on Lukas’ waist, who felt all the weaker for it.  

  
Lukas was the first to part. “I feel that this has been long overdue.” he breathed, unable to keep the smile from his face.   
  
Conrad did not open his eyes, his mouth by Lukas’ ear. “Could you please give me a moment?” he said in a whisper. “It seems my legs have... turned to jelly.”

 

Lukas began to laugh, and after a moment, so did Conrad. Lukas buried his face into Conrad’s shoulder, his heart soaring with emotion, as they held each other in their shared mirth. There was no room for disbelief, only relief. As he pulled back, Conrad beamed at him, his eyes full of joy. He pressed another kiss to Lukas’ mouth, and another, melting him completely like butter.

 

“Lukas, I’m in love with you.” he said between kisses, gleeful and just a bit shy. “I love you.”

 

His heart bursting at the seams, Lukas laughed. “I love you too, Conrad.”

 

Their walk through the gardens continued much the same, the only difference being their intertwined hands, and the occasional peck on the cheek Conrad would lean down to give his lover. Each time he would grin, the blush never leaving his cheeks. 

 

Lukas looked fondly upon him, the vibrant flowers decorating the bushes around them only reflecting the vibrance of the man in front of him. Conrad, noticing him staring, squeezed his hand softly. Lukas squeezed back.

 

_ Really _ , he thought with a smile.  _ He can’t seem to keep his hands off me _ .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you made it this far, thank you so much for reading! I can't express enough how grateful I am to anyone who reads my writing. This may all just be 10k words of self indulgence, but isn't that what fanfic is about?
> 
> If you didn't ship this before, hopefully you ship it now! As of now, there are two other fics in the tag, and I implore you to read them. They're both excellent, and motivated me to finish this!


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